The last week has been a week of change for us in Suzhou. It's strange how in a few days everything can change and how fluidly we can adapt. Some changes are easier to adapt to though, and with some changes adaptation is met with concrete resistance. Losing Jonas back to Denmark has been one of these cases; we can adapt and we are adapting it's just that we don't particularly want to.
But even though he's gone back home and our little gang of three has become a twosome, I am comforted by the knowledge that this won't be the last time I see Jonas. I know that I will see him again, in better circumstances, and that this isn't so much a goodbye, but a pause. There are some people in life who you just get on with from the off, people who time doesn't really matter with. Whether it's a month, 6 months or years, when you see them again it's almost as if no time has passed at all. These are the friendships that are worth making an effort with and the kinds of relationships we should look for in life. And this is the kind of friendship I like to think was built with Jonas over our short time together. We will miss finding milk all over the place because of his disgusting milk habit, we'll miss his voice of an angel singing Taylor Swift and we'll definitely miss his awesomely bad selfie taking skills. But, ever the optimist, there is one silver lining (sorry, Jonas!). I now have commandeered Jonas' room. This means no more box room and no more rock solid bed, I now live and sleep in the comfort of a massive bed and my back is thankful for the upgrade.
Inevitably, when one person in a group leaves there are going to be changes, and although Jonas hasn't even been gone a week we have already begun to notice the changes and differences of not having him around. The main and most obvious difference at the moment is the way Chinese men react to me and Jenny when we are out and about. We had always previously said how shy Chinese men were about approaching us compared to the hoards of girls constantly swarming around Jonas but it turns out that the men may not have been shy of us. I think that Jonas acted as some kind of protective barrier, stopping men from approaching us; but now there is no barrier and it seems to be a free for all. In the few days since Jonas left us we've been chatted up at bus stops by young men, offered escorts to our next destination and surrounded by older gentlemen as we got off a bus and tried to get our bearings. This would have never happened with Jonas around! It's a strange thing for me but in no way threatening or predatory at all. That's the thing about Chinese men, they are just so ridiculously unscary and all the attention so far has been friendly and completely innocent, if a bit annoying at times. That's one of the nicest things about living in China, I always feel safe. China has very low levels of crime (the recent stabbings in Kunming and Changsha were an unfortunate and rare incident) and the main crime here is pickpockets in crowded areas. This doesn't mean I'd necessarily get a taxi alone after a night out or walk down that dodgy looking alley with complete confidence, I am a Londoner after all, but it's nice to have that feeling of overall safety with a dose of healthy skepticism for good measure.
We'll be taking out city street smarts with us when we venture from Suzhou this weekend to the big, bad city of Shanghai. This weekend is Qing Ming, or Tomb Sweeping, festival, which gives us a 3 day weekend and since we have no family tombs to sweep or visit here in China we're taking a long weekend to catch up with some (sadly, not all) of my favourite faces from Beijing. As well as cramming in all the sights, I'm looking forward to swapping tales of teaching lows and highs with Greg, Henry and David. It's always reassuring and fun to discover how everyone else is experiencing China, hearing the similarities across the country as well as the weird and wonderful differences.
So this week I'm looking forward to Friday afternoon much more than usual and can't wait to sample everything Shanghai has to offer. Happy Qing Ming Festival! 清明节快乐！
Comments
Post a Comment